Damn, you guys… Where have you been?!!?
Ok.. I know.. you’ve been here all along! But then, where have I been?
Well, the usual! It’s my busy time at work right now, slowing down soon. So that leaves little time for posting. I also find that the less I obsess over my weight… the less I have to post about. I realize that is both sad and awesome. I am, of course, quite unhappy over the state of my body currently. Though that fact hasn’t changed… it has been altered slightly. Yes I am wanting to lose weight. But I don’t feel quite as fanatically desperate over it anymore. I feel inspired to change and motivated to reach my goals. But I don’t feel like I am so unbearably pathetic for not being at the “end goal” yet. I think its a mix of things contributing to this newly found peace.
For one, becoming Vegan. It feels like home to me. It feels like this is what I was supposed to be doing all along. I no longer feel like I need to try so hard and search so deeply for the one diet that will be good for me, for life. I do feel like I found it.
Secondly, I’m getting older. I don’t think one ever truly grows out of needing social acceptance… but I do think its importance wanes over time. Especially when you’ve already accrued a lovely small mass of people that love you regardless.
Lastly, my ailments. I’m finally coming to terms with the fact that I have disabilities. I used to think that my physical problems were just something to add emphasis to my story… you know? Like, “Oh, look at how far Shannon has come. She’s lost all this weight and gotten so strong, despite her disabilities!”
But ugh, whatever. I don’t need to “overcome” anything to appear strong and awesome. Its not proving anything to anybody if I push myself beyond what is comfortable. All I am doing is hurting myself. So realizing that—yes, I do have issues—has allowed me to slow down and not expect progress that is beyond safe for myself.
So… yeah. I am here! I am feeling like everyone else this time of the year… ready to start anew, ready to lose some more weight and feel healthier. But I’m not doing anything dramatic. No new intense work out routine, no new fasting or extreme diet. Just… making healthier choices and sweating per usual!
Per usual… if anyone has any ideas for posts (or videos!) they’d like to see, hit me up. I’d love some good inspirations for posting here.
Love you all…. and Happy New Year!