I spend too much energy worrying about what other people must think of me. Not so much in the middle-school way of worrying about my clothes or appearance or being a little weird. We’re all a little weird, it’s cool! My worry is that people think I am a sham. A liar. A hypocrite.
I am always thinking about what people say I must be doing (or not doing), when no one is watching.
I mean, lets look at the facts -
- I work out daily (before Sweaty13, it was 5 or 6 days a week)
- I track what I eat carefully
- I often to do juice fasts
- I am knowledgeable about nutrition, super foods, and diet trends
- I write a “Healthy Living Blog”
- I offer diet and work out advice and even make programs for friends
- I have a Personal Trainer
- I live an active, and healthy lifestyle
But in my mind… all of those facts are negated by just ONE : I am overweight. I am still nearly 100lbs overweight.
Because of this, I assume that everyone is thinking that I don’t work out like I say I do, I don’t eat like I say I do, I don’t try as hard as I say I try. Is it true? No. Not at all. I don’t lie on here. And I certainly don’t lie to my trainer, my family, my doctor, or my friends. So why do I worry about what other people think? I don’t really know… I guess it’s because I try SO. HARD. to be the person that I feel would make me happiest… the person who is strong, healthy, fit, attractive, and inspirational. For me, I want to be visible proof that the life I created for myself is a healthy one. And right now… I have no proof. It’s my word against the size of my butt. And lets be honest, my butt might speak a little bit louder sometimes!
Here is what I’ve realized – I can’t presume to know what people really think of me, just as much as they can’t presume that I am lying or legit.
I have to just keep doing me. Work for my goals… whether they manifest visually or not… *I* will know what I’ve done and how I feel and that is the only thing I have control over.
Do you ever think or worry that people have the wrong impression of you?