My Dad is the best, so I am really glad that he gets his own day that we can celebrate that fact! I’d like to tell you about my lovely Father’s Day.. and I will! But first, lets go back a little further to Saturday!

On Saturday, my brother, sister, and I went to Joe’s Crab Shack! They are fairly new to our area, so we’ve all been really excited to try it out. Us three are real lobster & crab lovers, so, it just HAD to be done!

I actually didn’t get any photos of my food, because, well, it was just too dang messy to even hold a camera! I had the “lobster daddy” bucket, which was a whole lobster, the legs of a whole crab, corn on the cob and 2 boiled potatoes. The whole thing was steamed in “Spicy Citrus” flavor, which was tabasco and lime juice. YES.  The whole bucket was 580 calories. And I ate all of it. Not bad at all!

I even snagged a photo with Mr. Fish here.

I think he likes me!

Ok, now, back to Father’s Day!

For Dad’s Day we were having a BBQ at my parents house. I got my Dad a new charcoal grill, and some ribeyes to go with!
I got there early to present him with his gift and help him put it together!

What a beauty!

(vegetarians, look away!)

 (speakers on if you wanna hear the sizzling!)

I even made him the most perfect card to go with!

I can only hope that my Dad had as good of a day as I did. The food was great, the company was even better.

Chai had a good time, until a 3 dog fight broke out, and I had to send Chai home with Joel.  Only minimal blood this time, and everyone was fine. Party poopers.

Z and I left shortly after, and he offered to drive me home.

Thanks buddy, but you’ve had too much to drink.

Now, for two unrelated items :

1. Coop.

2. I finally hit my 10k steps on Friday!

I hope you all had a wonderful father’s day.

I’d like to include a little message to my good friends Adam, Debbie, and Matt : Even though your Dads are no longer with us, they will always live on in your hearts, your thoughts, and your actions. Our Fathers are a big part of what makes us who we are, and the three of you are amazing people – so you can thank your Dads for that!  Happy Father’s Day.

I certainly received a wonderful reception to my latest epiphany of easing up on myself.  Thank you, everyone for your comments and encouragement. It is always hard to admit when something you’re putting your all into just isn’t working.  Despite the effort, determination, and faith in it. I enjoyed being strict, and being revered for my willpower. But in the end, if it’s not actually working for me… what is the point?

So, it’s been a week, how’s it going?

Well, mostly good. Of course, I’m a binge-eater (compulsive over-eater) by nature. I am certain it is a hereditary thing. I didn’t develop it over my life, I was always this way. What I did develop over time is the strength to fight those urges. Not always successfully, but every year I get better and better.  Eating a strict, rule-heavy diet helped me a lot in that area. Being a rule-follower, if I say I can’t have any of something, I surely will not. But I might look for excess somewhere else, which also isn’t healthy.

These are just the things we all battle with. We all have something that keeps us from being the healthiest we could be.

But back to how I’ve been doing.  I’m still a little floundery, but that’s OK! I’m trying to decide which rules to ditch and which to keep.  The things that keep me from overeating while not causing obsession.  Do I track my food still? If so, what do I track? calories? nutrition? just portion control? I’m still not sure.  For the first 3 days I kept tracking all of my food. I ended up around 1,100 a day, and I noticed that I felt a little tense about going over that… which means maybe I shouldn’t track that closely. So the 4th day, I didn’t track at all, and ended up going out to eat and eating pretty much whatever I wanted… which also didn’t make me feel good.

Yesterday, and today I’m going to use a method that Weight Watchers adopted, which is not tracking fruits and vegetables, but counting everything else. This won’t give me a proper calorie total for the day, but will keep me measuring and accounting for the meats, grains, condiments, etc. that I do consume. Since the bulk of my meals are fruits & veggies, maybe this will give me that freedom feeling, while still keeping my thumb on the “naughty bits”

We’ll see how that goes. I know its all trial and error, as has been my weight loss attempts over the past 15 years.
There’s some cheesy stool-softener commercial that has the slogan – We all go, so why not enjoy the go?
Let’s forget the poop association and apply that to health and weight loss…  I just need to enjoy the go!

I’ve got my Jawbone Up bracelet now (which I will post about after I’ve used it for a few days!)  and it is helping me focus on other health factors (like sleep, steps per day, and mood) which helps me ease up on the calorie counting as well.

As for general guidelines for myself, I’m going to continue avoiding dairy and sugar, just because I am intolerant and they don’t make my tummy happy.  I’m going to continue eating an abundance of fresh, raw fruits and veggies because I love them and I absolutely believe in their health properties. I’m going to try my best to increase my water intake (as always, ugh)  and the rest – I’m going to do what feels and tastes good, while consciously making good decisions.

Sooo, there you have it! My first steps in finding my way.  I explained it to Trainer Bob by saying – “I’m pretending like I got down to 150lbs and trying to maintain it.”
Ultimately, maybe that’s where I’ll actually be!

Happy Monday everybody!

I hope you all had a nice weekend. I certainly did! Productive and enjoyable – the best kind!  My Mother’s Day gift to my mom was a promise to get her all of her plants for her deck, so I made good on that this weekend. We went and looked at all the breathtaking flowers and plants.

Oh, it was so hard to choose some!  After that we hit up the Asian Market. I’ve been looking for some frozen durian to add to my smoothies, but no luck. Instead I got some baby bok choy, and a big bag of lychee!

Mmmm they are so juicy and sweet!

Back at the house I helped Mom plant her flowers. After heading home, my intention was to head right out and plant my own garden, but I just didn’t have it in me! I did it the next morning instead.

I am not a gardener. Actually, I kind of hate it. But I love having fresh herbs to cook with, soooo, it must be done!  I had quite a few dead plants and weeds to pull along with a remarkable amount of metal debris from when they put my new gutters on over the winter. I dug up quite a few unsavory creatures as well…

Like this guy :

AHHHHHH!!!
Ok, he was at home depot.  And really, if I dug him up I think I’d just want to hug him.

Here’s my before and after :

Ok, it doesn’t look that different… but now I’ve got – basil, 3 kinds of mint, lavender, sage, thyme, oregano, dill, chives, carrots, tomatoes, jalapeno, and one random thing that looks tasty, could be just a weed, I dunno.

I went to go fill my watering can and, what’s that in the bottom? (Melissa, avert your eyes!!)

Awe, it’s a tiny little condo!

So cute! But sorry, so gone now.

The weather was absolutely perfect for playing out in the garden.  The dogs were in their glory running around and napping in the sun. Even after we went inside they were enjoying it.

I got a lot done in the house as well as the yard yesterday. When I’m on a mission, I can get a lot done!  So much cleaning and organizing. Feels so good when its done.  I was cleaning up my bedroom and I found that my previously favorite dog Chai had eaten the zipper out of my denim skirt. As punishment, I made her wear it.

She was pretty embarrassed about it. But then she just fell asleep and looked so cute that I forgot she did anything bad. Damn dog.
She got a little bit more punishment in the form of the vacuum cleaner though. So that made me feel better.

But then. she did this :

Damn it, you win again Chai.

All in all, it was a great weekend. Quality time with my Mom, productive around the house, and nice time spent with Joel and the pups. What more could you want? Well, except maybe a few more days of it!

Did you know that my car’s name is Midnight Smoothilicious?
True story.

(Old photo, obviously – snow!)

Despite the name of my car, I’ve never been a huge smoothie fan.  I love my juices, and of course I love a creamy calorie-laden blended coffee drink, but I always thought I preferred to eat my fruit rather than slurp it in the form of a thick paste.
Lately, I’ve softened a bit on my smoothie stance.
I own a Vitamix now, and though I bought it for Joel because he loves to make smoothies, that thing was freakin’ expensive and I keep thinking that I need to use it more, too! So I’ve been making smoothies for dinner a few times this week and they’ve actually been really great!

Wednesday night I made this beauty of a swamp thing :

That was 2 bananas, 1 cup blueberries, 2 cups spinach, and 2 scoops of Amazing Grass powder*  This was about 310 calories.
Hideously delicious.

Now, I don’t really do dairy very much, and I never saw the point of putting yogurt or cream in an otherwise healthy smoothie, so I typically use just fruit and veggies. Last night, however, I was really hungry and I wanted my smoothie to be larger without adding a lot more calories so I added 1 cup of unsweetened almond milk (40cal.), and 1/2 cup of water. That worked perfectly!

(sorry for the blurry photo, I must have been shaking with smoothie excitement)

This was – 2 bananas, 2 cups blueberries, 1 cup frozen cherries, 1 cup coconut almond milk, 1/2 cup water, and 2 scoops of Amazing Greens powder. For a total of 509 calories.  This was hugenormous and truly filling. It took me about an hour to drink the whole thing!

So, there you go.. I kind of get the whole smoothie thing now. I won’t be adding protein powder or ice cream or getting all crazy with it… but I’ll definitely keep these as a great and creative dinner option. Especially through the hot summer months.

Anybody do smoothies often? flavor combos you can share? I got some nectarines… so I am thinking nectarine, mango and banana might be really good!

Have a great weekend everybody!

* Here’s a link to the Amazing Grass powder.  Though I feel like typically I get enough greens in an average day, but this stuff is good and makes me feeling like I am getting lots of good stuff!

If you’ve been on the dieting scene for any amount of time then you’re well aware of the fads and scams, the myths and truths, and all of the assorted opinions on what works for weight loss. And “everybody knows” the tried and true way to lose weight : calories in vs calories out, everything in moderation, slow and steady…
I’ve always taken exception to those rules. I’ve tried it all.

But, have I?

Really?

It’s true, I’ve tried everything. But I’ve never tried anything with patience. I’ve done diets that caused me lose weight, and pretty quickly. And then that thing they warn you about happens – I gain it back. I don’t want that anymore. I just don’t! So, I think I need this patience, thing installed.

I had a psychic reading a couple of weeks ago (I promise, this is related)  and the first thing she said to me was “wow, you’re a very happy person!” followed by “but why do you worry…..” and then she trailed off.  She didn’t finish, and she didn’t have to… I got enough out of that one little statement.  It is very true, I am a happy person. I am so happy with my life. But I am so terribly down on myself about my weight.  And why? Because it is all I’ve ever done? Because it’s the ONE thing that makes me discontent?
None of those are legit reasons, really. I have an amazingly good man who loves me no matter my size. I have a great job and wonderful friends – all of which I obtained while being overweight.  This size hasn’t held me back in any way, *I* am the one who did that to myself.  The world has given me not one reason to be unhappy with who I am. So the question remains – I am very happy… so why do I worry?

If I want to lose weight so I can “be like everyone else” then why am I living like a one-woman-island in order to get there? I am eating differently than everyone else, exercising differently, treating myself differently…. so that I can ultimately feel like I am the same? How does that make sense?

You’re right. It’s doesn’t!

Ok, I swear, I’m trying to bring this diatribe back around to my point.

In short : If I am happy right now, why can’t I take it down a notch and just diet like a normal person.

I can lose weight slowly if I find the right way. And if I can’t, I can continue to be healthy and embrace who I am anyway. When I think past over the last 20 years – despite decades of happy times and experiences, the entire thing is shadowed under a big, sad umbrella of being unhappy with my weight. I think that it is possible to lift that umbrella and let some sunshine in, while still working on my goals. Don’t you?

Sooo, what does this mean, really? It means no more 60 day long juice fasts, no more only eating fruits and veggies, or doubling up my workouts to burn an extra 3k calories a day…. etc, etc.  It means very simply – making healthy choices, allowing myself to eat some things I want to eat, being kinder to my body and allowing it the time it requires. And most importantly… loving it even if it doesn’t give me results that I want.

I hope that this realization of mine sticks with me. I feel like this is what I need to be WHOLLY happy. To lose weight slowly and steadily and know how to stay there when I get to a smaller size.

So, world… you’re right. I’m done being stubborn. I’ll try it your way now.

You know how my new goal is to lose 2lbs per week?

Yeah… so I GAINED 2lbs this past week. Now I have 4lbs to lose this week! Woops!  I’m not mad, either. I had an awesome time at the wedding and ate 2 cupcakes! We ate at a Brazilian place, and I made french toast! The 2lbs is no mystery.

I’m ready to get back at it this week. I also, am going back to the gym this week! HOORAY! I’ve never had 2 weeks off from exercising. I spent half of the time wishing I was working out, and half the time enjoying all that extra time! Either way, I’ll be happy to be back.

This weekend was mostly a waste. It was so hot that I got very little done. It’s funny, when I am working out, I am flinging sweat all over the place and its cool. At home, if I am sweating just sitting still, I can’t stand it! So, the house got half-assed cleaned and that is as far as I got.

Chai and Z enjoyed the sun a little bit, though, before it got too hot.

And this is what I did while they did that :

Mmmm pineapple.

So, there you have it! I’m off to lose 4lbs, wish me luck!

Ok, I know I call you Little Baby Adam, but you’re not a little baby anymore! 22 today!

Happy Birthday Adam! You’re the smartest, wittiest, most kind-hearted 22 year old I’ve ever known… and hey, *I* was 22 once! and only getting better with age!

Have a great day today, and a fabulous 22nd year!